Do not kiss her forehead
if you are only going to leave
the stain of your poisonous words
in her mind and do not hold her hand
if you are only going to make her carry
all of the broken promises with her and
do not tell her you miss her when you
are only thinking about someone else
to kiss and do not tell her that she
is perfect the way she is if you are
only going to leave her laced in scars
and do not ever tell her you love her
just because you like the taste of the
words on your tongue.
- Honest. (via dollpoetry)
THE CUTEST THING IS WHEN SOMEONE CAN’T STOP SMILING LIKE THEY SMILE THEN THEY TRY TO NOT SMILE THEN THEY END UP SMILING MORE AND THEIR CHEEKS GO ALL CUTE AND SAPOIDSP[DOSADPSAPSDSAPDSAP
I know someone who’s like this.
You’re going to meet a boy who won’t even think twice about wanting to date you, he will care so much about you that he won’t have to choose who he wants to be with because he will know the only person he wants to be with is with you. He won’t hurt you, he will love you. He won’t make you cry, he will make you laugh. He will know that when you say you only want two scoops of ice cream, you really mean three. He won’t judge you, he will understand. He won’t make you feel like you are worthless, he will make you feel like a princess. He won’t break your heart, he will hold it in his hand as if he was holding the world. He won’t complain when you ask him to watch a romantic movie, he will watch it anyways because he will know how much you enjoy them. He won’t tell you you’re sexy, he will instead tell you you’re beautiful. He won’t be embarrassed when you do something silly in public, because he will be the one next to you being silly with you.
He won’t be ashamed of you when you tell him your flaws and mistakes, he will hold you and love you anyways. He won’t make you feel like an object, he will treat you with respect.
He won’t get angry when you wake him up with a text at 3am because you are on the verge of breaking down. He will feel special because you trusted him enough to let him see you in your most vulnerable state. He won’t have to ask you if you are upset, He will know instantly by the look you have on your face. He won’t let you go, he will hold you so tight and thank God every night that he put you into his life.
I promise you this, when you meet that boy, you will realize why it didn’t work out with someone else.
- Things I’m trying to remember (via leikamei)
I want you to want me.
I want you to take care of my body when demons seem to be like weeds I didn’t even planted in my own garden.
I want you to capture my every state and treasure them as if it will not happen ever again.
I want you to be afraid of losing me as the way I fear of losing you.
I want you to not blame me for having trust issues and social difficulties.
I want you to understand why I often times push good people away because you knew I’m just scared they’ll turn into evil ones.
I want you to be an open container that I won’t be sorry and feel intimidated every time I fill my secrets in it.
I want you to be like my ear that will listen to all of my hideous thoughts without judging any of them.
I want you to tell me how amazing I am for being stronger after having fucked up thoughts and for over thinking things most of the time.
I want you to scold me when I’m being an unreasonable bitch and you’ll tell me I’m better than that without walking away afterwards because the latter will be a total ache for the both of us.
I want you to tell me your i love you’s through your deeds, in between your choice of cheesy songs and corny jokes and even when I’m asleep.
I want you to notice the struggles in my eyes every time there’s a civil war between my heart and my mind without even telling that there was.
I want you to annoyingly ask me what is my problem until I spill them out.
I want you to let me cry like a baby by your comforting words and soothing laughter because you know it will be just a story in future time.
I want you to not let me drink too much coffee and soda and cry too much over undeserving people because you know it will only bring no good to me but you’ll allow me every time I needed them badly.
I want you to listen to my I’m okay’s without telling me that you know I’m not because you know I’m lying and you know it is my way of calming myself and you’ll just patiently wait until I say that I’m not.
I want you to read my writings and acknowledge the way I use metaphors and adjectives.
I want you to congratulate me for channeling my sad thoughts and frustrations into stories and writings.
I want you to respect me the way you respect your mother.
I want you to get angry every time I wear short shorts because you’re afraid enough that somebody will notice the things you have noticed to me but you’ll just let me wear those anyway because at the back of your mind you know that I am yours.
I want you to still see my body as wonderland even after you saw how scarred it was.
I want you to not get tired of loving me.
I want you to know that I’m not demanding you to be perfect because you’re not and will never be.
I want you to be there after all of the thunderstorms I have let you to witness.
I want you to treat them as privilege because you know there is only a handful of people got to see them.
I want you to be my best friend as I will wait until God will end my existence.
I want you to not run away if without me.
I want you to be there for me.
Just be there for me.
I had a dream about the love of my life the other night. She passed away in that dream..
And I felt it in my stomach, heart, body.
I woke up and I can still think back to the feeling. The worst feeling I now know..
Now I’m laying awake at night thinking about the…
And if things would still go this way, I’d chop my hair off. Again.
Let’s talk about the time she hurt you.
How she held your hand in her own
an your heart in her teeth.
How she plucked your veins,
made music of your heart,
and you let her.
Let’s talk about the time
you cried on her doorstep.
How she wrapped her arms
around you for warmth and still
you felt like icing over.
Let’s talk about love and desire
and how they aren’t the same.
Let’s talk about how she never loved you.
Let’s talk about her mouth—
the way she’d whisper broken curses
against your lips, in the dark.
How she was the closest thing to a saint
you’ve ever touched.
A woman made of arsenic and marzipan.
Let’s talk about the day you left her:
with your jaw set, your eyes up.
With no fear left, no tears worth heaving.
The way you never looked back.
The way your heart felt so light,
you almost didn’t recognize it.
Let’s talk about that.
Let’s talk about that, instead.
- Self-Help, by Ashe Vernon (via latenightcornerstore)
When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.
- How To Pretend It Doesn’t Hurt, by Ashe Vernon (via 1811181)
Holy fucking shit(via br0kenn-angel)